When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
