he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
