I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize