The brown eye won't let me do that either.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
