I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
