what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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