once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
