i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
