Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize