1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just googled if crying burns calories
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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