we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
