I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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