I have demons in me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just found puke in my bra..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
