Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
