Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
BRING THE BAGELS
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
