It's like God shit irony all over that family
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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