is your mom at the bar?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
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you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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