We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
