so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
