I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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