While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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