I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
