Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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