Say something about gay babies.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize