I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
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I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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