I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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