If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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