if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
