great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
