Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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