Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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