D3 body, D1 cock
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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