I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's official drugs can't kill me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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