im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
