Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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