I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They have beer where we have blood.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
