finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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