tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize