her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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