how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
