she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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