i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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