Betty ford says i'm here all night
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
