First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
