I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
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You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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