he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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