You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
