No stitches, just platelets and will power
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
