I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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