Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Randomize
