doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
