Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
