I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
