David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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